In seven months, I will be a college graduate. For those next seven months, I will be swirling around the great unknown. Thank the Lord I finally picked a major I can feel excited about, but I don't really know what I am supposed to do next. For the last three years, I worried myself sick over my major. I never felt satisfied or at peace.
I prayed, hoping God would make what I should do 100 percent clear. He didn't. I think that is how He urges us to seek Him more closely, because I have never been that great at being consistent, not even with my quiet times. Those are vital to life, not just knowing what path to take, but life in general. If you remember anything from this, remember that.
Each semester until March of my sophomore year, I changed majors. One had too many speech class requirements, one wouldn't allow me to graduate on time, and one just wasn't for me. Finally I found my niche in English and Journalism. But until God showed me the light that was Interdisciplinary Studies, I paced a hole in my floor and talked my dad's ear off about all my worries.
It's terrifying; picking one thing you're interested in when there are so many things you might (or might not) be good at. But at least I tried. I am the poster girl for "You never know unless you try."
If you're reading this and you're not on the brink of graduating, you might be in the middle of a confusing time in your life. If not now, you will be. To anyone faced with a big decision and/or befuddled by all the mysterious things in life, welcome! We're neighbors in The Great Unknown, and here is what I want to tell you.
1. Don't wish yourself out of the mystery
I remember sitting in my high school freshman English class thinking, "I can't wait for these four years to be over." I can't even remember why, but I absolutely hated high school when I first started. Of course, after those first few weeks of my freshman year I loved it. I won't say it was the best years of my life, but it got better. And it was over in a heartbeat. Same with college. I remember being a little freshman with all these years ahead of me. Who will I grow up to be? What major will I choose? What career will I end up in? (Still don't know that one!) And now I am coming to the end of that road. My four years are almost up. What I'm trying to say is: Everything ends. That's not as depressing as it sounds. High school was a phase of life. While I was in it, I could not see the big picture and the next phases up ahead. Yet again, same with college. I get bogged down with the stress of deadlines and growing up, and I forget that it WILL be over at some point and I WILL be in a new phase of life soon. Until you get there, the future is a mystery. You have to remember that life has worked out up until now, and whatever part of life is still unknown will work out too.
2. Don't skip out on prayer
I'm bad to do my Bible study but not pray. I'll say a quick one of "thank you's" and "please help me's..." but I do not carve out the time to really talk with God. In church this weekend my pastor said that when you don't pray, you are basically telling God you can handle life without Him. That convicted me so deeply. I need God. There's no question about that. If I made all the decisions in my life without His guidance I'd be a nervous wreck, jumping around from one thing to another. I'd just keep running when a hasty decision ended up feeling uncomfortable. I keep telling myself that I will pray more about asking for guidance, but I haven't yet. I'm writing this to hold myself accountable. Prayer lets God into your life, and when you are going through times of uncertainty His help is crucial.
3. Do the work
When faced with something scary, I lean towards the flight part of fight or flight. So when I have a project that stresses me out and makes me visualize myself in an uncomfortable situation (like a speech), I just put off the work. Let's all say it: PROCRASTINATION. When it comes to the future, I get so scared thinking about being at a job I go to everyday 9-5. It makes me feel trapped. So instead of sending out resumes or looking for internships, I hide under the covers watching Friends. What better role models. They never went to work! (Totally kidding) But in all seriousness, take the time to plan ahead. Take chances on things that could help you out in the long run.
4. Do live for more than an idea
At the end of the day, are you happy? Do you feel like you are doing something that matters? These are the things that truly matter to me. I don't want to live for the dream of some job that comes with a lifestyle that will get me likes on Instagram. I dream about waking up every day and feeling fueled by a passion. Whatever it may be. I want to participate in something that will last. Whatever phase of life you're in, don't let pride hinder the path to your individual greatness. Don't settle, but also do not make all your decisions around whether people will be impressed or not.
This may seem all over the place, but I needed to get it off my chest. The future is scary, but it doesn't have to have power over you. Let the mystery excite you but no to the point where you never try to figure out what your next move should be. Acknowledge the tension of faith and making mistakes. Allow God to give you guidance knowing that His plan for you might not lead you to a clear cut destination. You might bounce around. That does not mean failure. Try to dissect your worries and think about how to best approach them. Think of times when all the things you've freaked out about came and went and how they worked out just fine. This will too. Whatever your mystery is, it will work out. As the future becomes less blurry, enjoy the transitions and believe that good things are on the way.
